I keep going forward and yet I still can't believe he's gone, I get stopped in my tracks sometimes when I'm walking. I KNOW i'm going to be fine so why in the HELL does this happen to me??!!
What is wrong with me?? Seriously?? I want/need to know!
I have great friends, great family, lots of LOVE, spiritually grounded, what the HELL is it,WHAT?!
6 comments:
Are you missing him? Or are you feeling guilty moving on?
Just reality sinking in, he's just gone, gone from life, just like that, never thought he would be. Not missing him, not guilty just in awe. No more phone conversations, whether good bad or indifferent. No more seeing him in his truck, or fishing or anything.
You know your right. Totally gone. No more phone calls later on down the road. Nothing. Wow.. can't even imagine that. But I understand.
He was a part of your life for how long...Consider the length of time you were a part of each other's lives. He brought moments, and people (your boys) into your life that you would not have had otherwise. You have not experienced this before ~ so there are no 'right or wrong's' here ~ Do it your way. I AM sorry you have to go through this at all.
Maybe it is because he is everywhere?? You posted about this before...he is in the house, the boys features, and so on and so forth. I just had this happen to another friend of mine and she is dealing with the loss of her husband TOO WELL for him to only been gone for a week (he died suddenly in motorcycle accident). I think that it will sink in with her one day just like it is doing to you now.
I also think it has to get worse before it gets any better and maybe just now it is getting worse for you...look on the bright side...it will get better.
Thanks Jamie I sure hope so. I just get those fleeting moments and have to get it out there, off my mind, out of my head. My mom told me I am now in the reality stage and it just too unreal to wrap my brain around.
sorry about your friend.
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