I woke up this morning with the HOPE of a new day. Jem (my nearly 16 year old Sloth), met me in the kitchen. I just wanted a cup of coffee and ten minutes to get my bearings together for the day. Thankfully Jem honed in on this and made breakfast, pancakes, nonetheless. He even arranged some into a happy face and made me smile. It was at that time I decided that since the sun was shining and we've been blessed with no snow, that I would try my best to decorate for Christmas, at least outside today. I know I still have a million things to do but thought this would make the boys happy.
Jem came out of his room to keep an eye on Scout so I could run to the local hardware store and pick up some extension cords, etc. As he was coming out of his room with laptop in hand he was playing this song. It's a song that always made him cry since he was about 10 every time his dad was away fishing or working out of town. A song I've thought of the past two weeks but didn't want Jem to hear it for fear it would make him sad. It's a song that touches our hearts every time we hear it and this time, hearing Jem listen to it was like someone punched me right in the gut because he was feeling the loss. I felt weak on my knees as I was putting on my coat to head out and made me cry instantly. I immediately asked if Jem was okay and he said yes, but I KNOW he's not and that he never really truly ever be okay and I felt a chunk of my heart break off! Here's the song:
2 comments:
Oh HONEY. Celebrate. Cry. Love. Get angry. Scream. Cry. Throw shit. Then love and celebrate and cry again.
But you know this.
Love you.
GREAT ADVICE!
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